Some growing up

Maybe it was only during the course of this year, or maybe it has been a couple of years already, but I've had a lot of growing up to do. In all aspects of my life, from education, personal, work, love, I've taken many steps to get to where I am now. Some of those steps concious ones, some I didn't realise. But I see my life in a different light now, it's so unexpected but came very naturally. My life mottos have changed, I viewed myself as a fairly ordinary person who had substandard dreams. I'm so glad I've broken free of that now, because now I am someone who wants to achieve everything, I am inspired everyday and I look to individuals and think to myself "what steps do I need to take before I can be like them?" Or "what is the difference in level and experience between myself and this person?" Because I will get there someday. I believe now that this life is so incredibly precious, and everything I want to achieve must be done in this period of time. There is no other time, there are no other chances. If I don't get to live in Japan or Asia in this lifetime, or if I don't spend enough time with my parents, or if I don't get to dye my hair crazy beautiful colours - I will never be able to again. When it strikes me how everything I want must be achieved by my own hands and in the time that I have been given - it makes me desperately want to achieve those things. Honestly it scares me that these are my only chances .. Which is pretty morbid but I have an overactive imagination and I think a lot about these things lol.

Because of my own personal developments, I have gradually gained confidence. I used to feel very insecure over certain things, and now I look at it again and I feel nothing. I feel neutral, I feel at peace, and it's amazing that something that once bothered me so much has had its time, and I've moved on. 

My 21, nearly 22 year old self has learned this year to embrace ambition, nurture talent and tirelessly try to improve my work and achievements. I've learned to dream big in order to achieve big things. I've learned that moments are precious, and our experiences now are some of the best we'll ever have, but .. that's a continuous state, therefore I'm excited for every chapter of my life to come.